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{"text":"So the age old question clucks on.\nHere are some explanations from famous people throughout history. Pick your favorite...\n\n-Plato:\nFor the greater good.\n\n-Karl Marx:\nIt was historical inevitability.\n\n-Arnold Schwarzenegger:\nI missed one?\n\n-Charles Darwin:\nChickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads.\n\n-Emily Dickinson:\nBecause it could not stop for death.\n\n-James T Kirk:\nTo boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.\n\n-Grandpa:\nIn my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.\n\n-The Bible:\nAnd God came down from the heavens, and He said, \"Thou shalt cross the road.\" And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.\n\n-Fox Mulder:\nYou saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?\n\n-Jerry Seinfeld:\nWhy does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, \"What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?\"\n\n-Dr. Seuss:\nDid the chicken cross the road?\nDid he cross it with a toad?\nYes the chicken crossed the road,\nBut why it crossed, I've not been told.\n\n-Joseph Stalin:\nI don't care. Catch it. I need it's eggs for my omelet.\n\n-Ernest Hemmingway:\nTo die. In the rain.\n\n-C.W. McCall:\nMe an' Earl was haulin' chickens on a flatbed out of Wiggins, and we'd spent all night on the uphill side of thirty-seven miles of hëłł called Wolf Creek Pass. Which is up on the Great Divide?\n\nWe was settin' there sůçķin' toothpicks, drinkin' Nehi and onion soup mix, and I said, \"Earl, let's mail a card to Mother then send them chickens on down the other side. Yeah, let's give 'em a ride.\"\n\nWell, Earl put down his bottle, mashed his foot down on the throttle, and then a couple'a bøøbs with a thousand cubes in a nineteen-forty-eight Peterbilt screamed to life. We woke up the chickens.\n\nWell, we roared up offa that shoulder sprayin' pine cones, rocks, and boulders, and put four hundred head of them Rhode Island reds and a couple a' burnt-out roosters on the line. Look out below; 'cause here we go!\n\nWell, we commenced to truckin' and them hens commenced to cluckin' and then Earl took out a match and scratched his pants and lit up the unused half of a dollar cigar and took a puff. Says \"My, ain't this purdy up here.\"\n\nI says, \"Earl, this hill can spill us. You better slow down or you gonna kïłł us. Just make one mistake and it's the Pearly Gates for them eight-five crates a' USDA-approved cluckers. You wanna hit second?\"\n\nWell, Earl grabbed on the shifter and he stäbbëd her into fifth gear and then the chromium-plated, fully-illuminated genuine accessory shift knob come right off in his hand. I says, \"You wanna sçrëw that thing back on, Earl?\"\n\nHe was tryin' to thread it on there when the fire fell off a' his cigar and dropped on down, sorta rolled around, and then lit in the cuff of Earl's pants and burned a hole in his sock. Yeah, sorta set him right on fire.\n\nI looked on outta the window and I started countin' phone poles, goin' by at the rate of four to the seventh power. Well I put two and two together, and added twelve and carried five; come up with twenty-two thousand telephone poles an hour.\n\nI looked at Earl and his eyes was wide, his lip was curled, and his leg was fried. And his hand was froze to the wheel like a töngüe to a sled in the middle of a blizzard. I says, \"Earl, I'm not the type to complain; but the time has come for me to explain that if you don't apply some brake real soon, they're gonna have to pick us up with a stick and a spoon.\"\n\nWell, Earl rared back, and cøçķed his leg, stepped down as hard as he could on the brake, and the pedal went clear to the floor and stayed there, right there on the floor. He said it was sorta like steppin' on a plum.\n\nWell, from there on down it just wasn't real purdy: it was hairpin county and switchback city. One of 'em looked like a can full'a worms; another one looked like malaria germs. Right in the middle of the whole dämņ show was a real nice tunnel, now wouldn't you know?\n\nSign says clearance to the twelve-foot line, but the chickens was stacked to thirteen-nine. Well we shot that tunnel at a hundred-and-ten, like gas through a funnel and eggs through a hen, and we took that top row of chickens off slicker than scum off a Lousiana swamp. Went down and around and around and down 'til we run outta ground at the edge of town. Bashed into the side of the feed store... In downtown Pagosa Springs.","videos":"[]","link":"{}","pics":"[{\"description\":\"\",\"height\":271.0,\"name\":\"\",\"url\":\" \",\"width\":186.0}]","canComment":true,"externalShare":false} |
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楼主
发表于 2020-1-22 06:05:03